“How can you tell if a wedding vendor is inclusive or not?” is honestly not a question we wish couples had to ask. But unfortunately, too many vendors in the wedding industry are either openly non-inclusive, or even worse, pretending that they are just so that they can make more money. We know firsthand how important it is to the LGBTQ+ community to only work with vendors who share the same values as they do. So after lots of thought, we decided to put together an article all about how to determine if a wedding vendor is inclusive or not!
Note – Even if you aren’t apart of the queer community, you should still be aware of the personal values of your wedding vendors. If you’re an ally to the community, you’ll look out for these signs too during the wedding planning process.
It shouldn’t take you very long
First thing’s first – it shouldn’t take you very long to figure out if a wedding vendor is inclusive or not. If you’re having to make a point to try and find signs that they are, that’s (usually!) a red flag. If after you read this blog you decide to double check your vendors’ profiles, keep in mind that you should be able to check off all these boxes within the first few minutes. Let’s get started, shall we?
Nowadays, most couples use Instagram to at least start the hunt for wedding vendors. And most vendors heavily use this social media platform to market themselves! So Instagram should be the first place that you look when trying to figure out if they’re inclusive or not. So what are the things you should be looking for?
- Check their Instagram bio – do they state they’re an inclusive vendor? Ways they might do that are: phrases like “Love is Love,” “All love is accepted here,” or having pride-related emojis
- Scroll through their feed – do they actively showcase queer couples on their feed? Or are you having trouble seeing diversity? You shouldn’t have to scroll for more than a few seconds to find your answer
- Pay attention to their captions – do they use inclusive language when referring to couples? Or do they use heteronormative phrases?
Note: The last point about inclusive language should be consistent across all of their platforms. Whether they’re chatting on their IG stories or writing a blog post, their language shouldn’t change.
Most wedding vendors spend weeks, even months perfecting their website. It’s where we get to fully tell our story, and showcase to the world why we chose to pursue our passions! It’s also a place where we have the opportunity to state our values, and with that comes stating inclusivity. So when you’re hanging out with your partner browsing wedding vendor sites, you should:
- See if they have any sort of formal statement or “badge” on their homepage. Some vendors choose to have something like: “This is a safe space for all sexualites, genders, and races” or “We accept all forms of love here at Wonder In Adagio”
- Pay attention to what photos they choose to showcase. Do they intentionally share photos of queer couples or events?
- Take a look at their testimonials. Do they have reviews from couples of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Their blog posts
A wedding vendor’s blog posts are also a great way to tell if they’re inclusive or not. For this one though, keep in mind that not all vendors blog consistently! So these points are only applicable if they have a library of up to date blogs on their website.
- If they write blogs showcasing their couples or events they’ve been apart of, are there features of queer couples?
- Do they have wedding planning resources for queer couples? Examples of that could be articles featuring inclusive wedding venues in the area or other inclusive vendor recommendations
- Remember: blog posts are usually a little more personal than their formal website copy. So pay extra attention to the words and phrases they choose to use
Things to watch out for
In addition to everything we just talked about, here are a few extra things to keep in mind:
- If vendors (or anyone, really) are using terms like “girl on girl” or “guy on guy” to describe gay couples… that’s a major red flag. And yes, unfortunately some people do still say things like this.
- Your intuition is almost never wrong. If you’re in someone’s online space and you feel like something’s off, it probably is. So if your gut is telling you that someone is being performative, listen to it!
- If vendors state that they “don’t want to get involved” in tough conversations regarding sexuality, gender, or race, that’s code for “I don’t want people to get mad at me for not being genuinely inclusive” and you should stay far away from them.
Over here at Wonder in Adagio, we don’t mess around when it comes to inclusivity. We’re just as passionate as you are about supporting businesses that have the right values. We hope that this article has been helpful to all couples out there who are planning their big day!
If you and your partner are still searching for the perfect photographer (and videographer!) for your wedding, we’d love to chat with you. To get in touch with us, you can fill out our contact form and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
In the meantime, we’d love for you to keep up with us on Instagram, or visit our Pinterest page for some planning inspiration!